


Similarity : Alex

by JLKnox



Series: Principles of Gestalt [2]
Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Cute, DTR, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Multi, Relationship(s), So much talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 07:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20422418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLKnox/pseuds/JLKnox
Summary: Gestalt has been waiting for NewMyf to reach out, but she's biding her time and making her own plans. When she's ready to share those plans, however, Alex is the only one free. With the other twin, she's able and ready to consider how they are the same and different, too.---“Mmm. Yah. Contrary to fashion choices – this me ain’t too fond a runnin.”She bursts out laughing. “You have got to be kidding me. So you wear those splendid joggers …to the gym?”I shrug and grin. “They are splendid joggers, and sometimes, yes, I wear them to the gym.





	Similarity : Alex

**Author's Note:**

> Not as much "accent" with Alex as Teddy, so this one should be easier to read. It's a little shorter, hope you like it!

_Bzt-Bzzz_

About an hour into work, three mobiles ring with the special double-buzz Gestalt programmed for Myfanwy years ago; Robert’s in the field, investigating a potential target, so his ringer is all the way silent. Eliza’s hands are the only ones free at the moment, so I get the info from her eyes. All bodies smile and roll our eyes a bit – which creates some confusion for the target Teddy is questioning – but NewMyf has discovered the unnecessary groupchat OldMyf started years ago. At the time, she said it was because she didn’t want to play favorites _and_ it would be her luck that whichever quad she chose would be busy whenever she tried to get hold of me. I guess today proves her right, as the three busier bodies learn she has resumed the chat with just one infuriating word:

“Hey.”

Six days of obsessively checking signals and ringtones, worrying that every body might possibly be in a cell-tower blind spot all at the same time, and I’m rewarded with hey. Still, it’s as if that double-buzz is amplified and reverberating through my bodies on repeat. The jitter is palpable; thumbnails are chewed and hands are sat upon. Although it’s statistically improbable that all four would be completely unavailable at any given time, Ops work is unpredictable. I can claim busy-ness, and often do with people who need to wait.

Myf is never on that list, but for me – and my self-respect – I need to wait to reply.

Just before the office clears out of hourlies, Eliza sends back a replica “Hey”.

Fuckin torture.

Around 1830, Teddy’s cooking, Eliza’s working late, and Robert is still on stakeout when the double-buzz strikes again:

“Talk soon?”

By my calculations from her recent route and timing, she sent that text right before her run. She should be halfway between our flats in fifteen minutes, give or take a few. I change Alex out of his work tracksuit and into a workout tracksuit, then lace up some older trainers. I get him almost to the halfway point, then stretch and jog in place. When she jogs by, he sprints up behind her, staying several feet behind until his breath is caught back. I move up beside her on the street-side, and match pace.

“How soon y’thinking?”

Her ponytail swings as she quickly turns her head to see him, although it would be difficult to not have caught his chartreuse-and-black outfit in her peripheral vision. She quickly looks back ahead and swerves to avoid a pram-pushing mum.

“Sure,” she says, panting, “yeah, I guess now’s ok.” She turns right at the corner and down the next block.

“Oh, well, if it’s incon…ve…nient…I can catch up later,” Alex says, dragging his syllables out teasingly. I grin back as he sprints ahead of her, then lets her catch up. “Guess y’weren’t spectin a reply so quick.”

Myf shakes her head back and forth, waggling that ponytail again. If this was Teddy’s body, I’d grab that like a handle and make her stop and talk to me. But. That kind of thing doesn’t look as good on Alex. I’ll color within the lines for now.

“I never know how busy you are. And… past…performance…”

Alex shrugs and we jog along for a bit, companionably. She keeps glancing left at me and opening her mouth to say something but not. It goes along like this for a few long blocks until we get to a corner and jog in place for the traffic light. I thought she might use the pause to say whatever it is, but she just stares straight ahead. Instead of grabbing that ponytail, I just stick out Alex’s hand and flip it around even more. She’s weaving her head, trying to avoid it, but she’s no match for Ops-trained reflexes.

“Stoppit.”

I look away from her and put an innocent look on Alex’s face. The light turns and I reach out and flick it again while we jog through the crossing.

“Seriously. Gestalt, stoppit.” She’s trying to look stern and trying not to laugh.

“It ain’t workin.”

“Clearly.”

We go along quietly together for a block or two more, me generally following her lead. I accidentally pull ahead of her, then feel a jab between Alex’s ribs. All the bodies startle – Eliza flubs her signature on a report she is turning in. Teddy only catches 2/3 of the fish fillet he was flipping in a pan right at that moment.

“Oi – now you’ve done it!” Alex turns around and runs backwards. “You made Teddy drop dinner. That’s gonna come back t’ya…” I’m on my guard, eyeing to see if she’s going to try again. She mugs a mock-innocent face back at me. I slow my pace and make sure we’re shoulder to shoulder before I turn back around. She tries again for my ribs while we’re side-by-side …but my superior reflexes knock her hand away.

Once we get to my flat, I let her go another couple blocks then I head her off and move toward a park near my building.

“I don’t usually go that way,” she calls after me.

“Smart not to, when yer a lady joggin by herself. But let’s walk for a bit while it’s still light out.” I’m trying not to let on that Alex is flagging. We both slow, warily watching each other for flicks and jabs, and then cool to a walk through the park. Unconsciously, Alex’s hands jam into his tracksuit coat as he tries to catch his breath. Myf looks a little agog. Although none of the other bodies suffer asthma themselves, they feel the shallow, constricted breathing.

“Bit of a wheeze you have there, sport.”

“Mmm. Yah. Contrary to fashion choices – this me ain’t too fond a runnin.”

She bursts out laughing. “You have got to be kidding me. So you wear those splendid joggers …to the gym?”

I shrug and grin. “They _are_ splendid joggers, and sometimes, yes, I wear them to the gym. But mostly I do yoga. And weight lifting. At home.”

She looks earnestly surprised at this. “Yoga?”

“Yoga.” I start humming the Kinks. “Y-O-G-A yoo-gaaaaa…” She’s still blinking at me, so I just stare back. “And you have opinions about that?”

“I think _you_ should have opinions about that.”

“I do. I like it. And it don’t activate my asthma the way runnin does.”

She ponders this a while.

“Do you all…”

“Nah, if Teddy does, he don’t admit it – not that I’ve ever made him run far. But the fraternal bodies don’t have asthma at all. Eliza an Robert jog, but usually on the treadmill, though, due to Quad-Sighting forums.”

“Oh yeah, I saw about that once while I was deep-diving Glengrove. And I guess Ingrid keeps an eye on mentions?”

“I guess – or some of the Bishop’s pawns; I don’t keep track. It’s weird being conscious of this niche notoriety…that people log my locations like trainspotters. I’ve kicked it up to Linda in the past to write in a budget-line for peroxide and paying people to get mimicked hairdos.”

“Really?” She thinks I’m joking and holds back a laugh.

Alex, ever-casual, pulls off yet another shrug and smile combo. “Really, yeah. I mean, it’s not like the British government can’t afford it – the bleach at least. Between Robert & Teddy, though, the pomade bill might get hefty…”

She does laugh this time, and pushes my shoulder a little. “Be nice to yourself. You all look very…coiffed.”

“Be nice to be brunette sometimes, I think.”

“Hmmm…” she pauses lengthily and considers it. “Nah, I don’t see it.”

“And here were are, again, talking about hair.”

It’s her turn to shrug. “I’m just following the thread of the conversation. You brought it up.”

“Yeah, guess I did.”

We walk along a little ways through the winding path in the park. I thought maybe it might lead to another memory for her. I don’t seem to remember any, but it appears to be a theme for her.

“So, if you’re not good at running, why’d you come out tonight?”

“It was only me or Teddy available. I guess this outfit woulda fit him, but if he sweats too much, the pomade runs into his eyes.” This time the pomade jibe only gets a grin. “Sides, he’s cooking dinner, and he’s better at it.”

“Aren’t you all… I mean… you’d know the same recipes?”

“Sure, but like anythin, it’s a matter of practice. His hands are better at breakin eggs, flipping skillets cuz he’s had more practice at that. But I type a hell of a lot faster, and am a much better shot.”

She’s processing all this as new information, and it’s a little painful to see her taking it all in. These are things OldMyf was around to notice as they were happening. I was differentiated – broken – early on, but we kept splitting up tasks as we went along. I had very long conversations with Myf especially about cooking and sewing, and if it was misogynistic to have Eliza take on either as her specialties.

“When we talked at my house…you said…killing Lorik put us on more even footing.” I raise an eyebrow and make eye contact. It’s rare that Alex inspires serious conversations in anyone. “Have you… all… killed?”

I know what she means, and she’s usually so good at the one-but-many thing, even when she woke up blank…she seemed to understand the _me_ of me. It stings, again, that she’s slipping back into that, but it’s natural human thought. It’s just that she used to know me so well. But sad doesn’t look good on Alex unless it’s a little puppyish, so I let his face sag while she’s looking away, and am relaxed and casual again by the time she turns to me.

“_I’ve_ killed, so we all have.” She starts a stuttering protest but I wave it away with a twin-grin. “I know what you mean, though, and yeah, all the bodies have ended a life. At least one.” I jam Alex’s hands even deeper into his pockets emphatically. “Only once like you, though; only once by choice. I’ll let you guess which me I used.” I give her a half-smile and shrug, knowing what the implication was, knowing I’m intentionally leading her away from the truth. Anyone with eyes would guess Teddy.

“Eliza. 100% had to be her.”

Alex’s feet stop abruptly and we all look up in shock – but pleased? Robert is really not doing well at blending in on this tail.

“Yeh. How’d you know?”

“Having a woman’s body these days is hard. If I had the power of a man and the body of a woman and the mind of both, I’d definitely have names on a vengeance list.”

All my eyebrows raise practically to all my hairlines as she and Alex start walking again. We shake our heads to adjust to this visual. “Remind me to not be on the wrong side a’you.” Alex wipes his hand over his mouth and chin.

She laughs a little derisively, “Yeah, I spose not…now.” We let the silence sit for another minute. Different than while we were running, and different than the way it is with Teddy. “I know you’re all you, but it’s harder to picture about you-Alex.”

I feign an overexaggerated hurt-face and scoff. “You think it’s harder to believe about Alex than _Robert_? I’m hurt, Myf, just stunned!”

“You’re always so cheerful, though. It’s an odd visual, you have to admit.” I grin and raise up my hands dismissively. She looks another second and continues, “I’ll admit, though, your physique is so like Teddy’s that I can see it. But it just doesn’t jive for me.”

“What can I say? Just following orders? I will say it’s me less often, fewer opportunities. We may all end up doing most things, but we definitely don’t all do the same things equally. Like… the cooking.”

Myf keeps nodding and looks like she’s considering something. If she has specific questions, though, she’s gonna have to ask them herself.

“Listen, though. I wanted to tell you before you heard it anywhere else.”

“You have a meeting with Conrad this week.”

She lets out an exasperated sigh. “I called him after tea just so he might not have time to tell you before I did.”

“Course he did. I’m the only Rook right now, it would improve my workload if you came back. Ingrid’s been a big help with the paperwork, but some things need real signatures, and usually one of me – whoever’s not in the field that day – stays late to look it over. Been this me for the past three days, and Ingrid threatened to quit if she had to try to read my scribbles one more time, so Eliza stayed tonight.”

“Does she have better handwriting?”

I laugh, a little painfully again – OldMyf would constantly rib on us for Eliza’s handwriting. “Barely. Robert’s is the best; Teddy’s looks like a fountain pen exploded even when he’s using a biro. He blames it on broken knuckles, but I think he coulda used more time with fine motor skills.”

“Bodies are weird.”

I nod and we come to the edge of the park. “You going to tell me any more about it, or should we finish up your run?”

“Let’s loop back to the entrance and then I can pick it up from there.” I make a ‘whatever’ gesture with Alex’s hands, still in his jacket pockets and nod. Robert’s bringing in his target – finally – and catches up with Eliza at the Checquy. Teddy got done with dinner and it’s holding in a warm oven. “I want you to know that the plan is to come back…” my grin breaks across all four faces to hear it, “…but before you get too excited, it may be some time yet.”

“That was a bit of a rollercoaster y’took me on there,” I look down at Alex’s feet and then back up through his eyelashes. “But I’m glad the overall goal is to come back.” Eliza sinks down into her office chair again, and Robert looks out the window with tears brimming in his eyes. Teddy’s thumbnail is gnawed to the nub but that doesn’t stop him. “What kinda time we talkin?”

She makes a noncommittal hand wave. “I want to stay, and rebuild the Chequy. I’m safe here. Or safer. I want to keep other EVAs safe. I want to be in the field more, using my power to help. And I want to keep getting to know you, Gestalt, and keep remembering.” I smile at her and move Alex’s body a little closer to hers, rubbing shoulders. Hearts are pounding, and even though he’s crap at it, Teddy attempts some simple meditation. “But –“ she edges a little bit back, “Like your example of muscle memory, I’m afraid I’ll just fall back into old patterns.” She gives me a meaningful glance. “I don’t know how much time…or separation…I’ll need in order to be sure I don’t.”

“Well, I told you in the viaduct – you been round most my life, but I ain’t an old pattern for you. This is new for me, too.”

She really looks at me, a little like she doesn’t believe me. But she doesn’t say anything directly about it.

“Remember that week – what you said to me in the bathroom of Danilov’s place?”

“Lock your doors,” I say in unison. The last pawn in our office looks at Robert and Eliza puzzled for a minute, but shrugs it off as usual Gestalt-ness.

She snorts. “No, Gestalt. You told me to leave the Ops to people who actually know what they’re doing.” She looks down now, as we walk. “Which means you, I guess, since you – “

“I work alone.” Golly it’s a nice day for a chorus innit? The pawn scurries out of the office, grabbing her handbag, assuming the fraternals were telling her to get out with that second recital. 

“Right, well. Now that I’m an asset, instead of a liability, I think I want a chance to be a little more active in the field. Give Ingrid more responsibility – maybe a raise – like she’s a pawn I castled behind or something. Pawn prime? Rook light?”

“She definitely deserves it after everything she’s handled in the meantime.”

“I know.” She’s looking back and forth between the ground, her hands, and my chin quickly now. “And –“ she takes a deep breath. “I’m glad it’s you, Alex, but …” I take a breath in to rejoinder, “Yes, I know it’s _all _you, Gestalt, but I’m glad I’m not talking with Teddy right now because I don’t want you to be mad.” My steps slow and I stop. Take a step back. It _is _all me, and if it would make Teddy mad, okay, his reflexes are more aggressive. But I don’t want to risk it. I stare right at her and take Alex’s hands out of his pockets and clasp them behind him. “I’ve been going through some extra training. At NewGlengrove. My shrink thought it would help me feel empowered after Lorik – learning more about how to control it – and how to make those choices.” She bites her lip and holds her weight backwards a little bit.

It’s a lot. Eliza spins out of her chair standing up and clasping her elbows. Robert and Teddy pace. I’m processing. Alex holds still and smiles just slightly, slowly. “Myf…if that’s what you want…then I think it’s great.” I’m speaking slowly, and it’s not very convincing I don’t think, because she still holds that worried look in her eyes. “Not gonna lie – it’ll be an adjustment.” I look into her eyes, warmly, in a way that Alex is best at. “An’ I told you – I think you underestimate everyone’s willingness to adapt.” I unclasp Alex’s hands and reach out to touch hers. “Being mad ain’t somethin you hafta worry bout from me.” I run my thumb over her knuckles. “Can’t happen.”

“Is that a challenge?”

I blow out air, floofing Alex’s curls which are hanging in his face. “Yanno what I mean. I can feel angry, but I ain’t gonna act on it with you.”

“Really? Because you were a little scary down in the archives.”

“Hmmmm…by my memory, your face did not look all that scared in that moment.” I brush my knuckles against her and part my fingers to let hers through if she wants. We’re just barely touching, oddly laced together with our hands back to back. Her face flames and she makes faltering stammer noises. I start walking again to give her an out. She stops trying to talk and keeps pace.

“Challenge accepted, then.” I look up at her. “As part of my assignments, I want to go on more diplomatic ops, so I’ll be traveling often. I think that will help me…this…maybe not get too far too fast? Provide a little bit of space for me to still try to figure out me. And figure out you.”

“Well it’s hard to get the hang a me…” I say grinning as I look down at our hands. “I think if there is anyone that can carry out a friendly international handshake successfully…” I push my fingers fully though hers, “…you’re just the bureaucrat to do it.” We’re just about back to the entrance and I slow a little more. “I’m sure the details will get worked out. Grantchester needs more help smoothing things out, and even at my best, we’re not the most socially apt person on staff. You’ll be really good at this.”

“You think so?” She looks very hopeful, and from what I can tell, she’s shed a lot of whatever made OldMyf so awkward around people.

“From what I’ve seen – absolutely.” It was what she needed to hear and I’m rewarded with a huge hug. Eliza’s driving, so she manages to stay on the road. Teddy’s eyes are closed again but he’s definitely no longer centering his thoughts, and Robert puts his hands flat on his knees in the passenger seat.

When she lets go, she starts stretching for the rest of her run, jogging a little in place. I may do a little surreptitious ogling. It’s uncertain whether she spied me doing it.

“So I think for now, Imma fuck off.” Is she doing a Teddy impersonation? _Maybe _her voice was lower. If so, it isn’t very good. I laugh a plosive. “It was a nice surprise, _running_ into you.”

“Har har.”

“You’re not the only one with lame jokes.”

“So I see. Well, I was going to invite you back for dinner, but I was serious when I said you made Teddy drop it on the floor. I’m not sure there’s even enough for me.”

“That’s okay, I really don’t want to make your asthma any worse, but I do want to finish my run. So it’s just as well.” She bounces on her toes and grins again. “Talk soon?”

“Love ta. How bowt –“ She takes off, then, and lands a swat on me bum as she goes. Alex is good for short distances, so I take off at top speed and manage to grab that ponytail just enough to make her slow down. That twit has a grin on her face even as I wrap it around my fist and lower back her head.

“Mad?” She laughs.

“Can’t be,” Alex grins back at her, swats her bum, and speeds off back home.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has not yet, please go sign the petition for Season 2 of Rook, and spread it around!
> 
> https://www.change.org/p/therookstarz-season-2-for-the-rook?signed=true
> 
> Thanks to the Discord Rookery for lighting a fire under me and for the great reaccs.


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